funnies - Honda Foreman Forums : Rubicon, Rincon, Rancher and Recon Forum

rubiranch · 02-28-2011, 12:30 PM

Heard any good funnies lately?? Post them.

guest · 02-28-2011, 12:34 PM

where u gettin this stuff from rubi? lmao

Sterkview_dairy · 02-28-2011, 12:38 PM

I was just thinking about starting this trend

heres mine
Settling a cow case

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."

rubiranch · 02-28-2011, 12:42 PM

never heard that one, pretty funny

rubiranch · 02-28-2011, 12:44 PM

Sterkview_dairy · 02-28-2011, 12:47 PM

A farmer is walking though his apple field carring two empty pails to colect apples. As he comes to the pond he finds two lovely young ladies skinny dipping. They call tohim "we arent getting out untill you leave. We dont want you to see us naked!" The farmer simply relies. That is fine I am only here to feed the aligotor." has he lifts his empty pails in the air.

vermhot · 02-28-2011, 02:37 PM

lmao!!!!

rich450es · 02-28-2011, 02:42 PM

ther once was a man from nantuckit.........

vermhot · 02-28-2011, 02:45 PM

Horse walks into a bar one day an the bartender says ,why the long face ?

jake_hag · 02-28-2011, 03:24 PM

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

02-28-2011, 12:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
rubiranch Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Fremont Indian State Park: Sevier, Utah Posts: 3,420	funnies Heard any good funnies lately?? Post them. __________________ 2001 Rubicon Bug 16,325+ miles 1870+ hours still needs an oil change Dependability is the "Way Out" Not "True-4-WD". Bombardier BR 180 Snow Cat Thanks Utah State Parks

02-28-2011, 12:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sterkview_dairy Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Embro Ont Canada Posts: 756	I was just thinking about starting this trend heres mine Settling a cow case A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." __________________ TRX 450S Foreman 01-28 Mudbugs on ITP Type 5, Warn 424, Quadrax Disc Brake kit, Prefex/HL spring, Warn RT30 wireles remote, Amsteel Blue, Floor Boards, ODI Grips, HID 6K, Custom Built Stick Stoppers, Bash Plate, Skid Plate, Aluminum Toolbox. IRS conversion coming!! TRX 300FW Fourtrax 88-26 Mudbugs on ITP Type 5, Quadrax Disc Brake Kit, 450 shocks front, Big Red Rear with built in lift, ODI Grips, HID 6k, Speedo, Floorboards TRX 500ES Foreman 07 26 Mudbugs, HL/Prefex.

02-28-2011, 12:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
rubiranch Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Fremont Indian State Park: Sevier, Utah Posts: 3,420	never heard that one, pretty funny __________________ 2001 Rubicon Bug 16,325+ miles 1870+ hours still needs an oil change Dependability is the "Way Out" Not "True-4-WD". Bombardier BR 180 Snow Cat Thanks Utah State Parks

02-28-2011, 12:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
rubiranch Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Fremont Indian State Park: Sevier, Utah Posts: 3,420	__________________ 2001 Rubicon Bug 16,325+ miles 1870+ hours still needs an oil change Dependability is the "Way Out" Not "True-4-WD". Bombardier BR 180 Snow Cat Thanks Utah State Parks

02-28-2011, 12:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sterkview_dairy Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Embro Ont Canada Posts: 756	A farmer is walking though his apple field carring two empty pails to colect apples. As he comes to the pond he finds two lovely young ladies skinny dipping. They call tohim "we arent getting out untill you leave. We dont want you to see us naked!" The farmer simply relies. That is fine I am only here to feed the aligotor." has he lifts his empty pails in the air. __________________ TRX 450S Foreman 01-28 Mudbugs on ITP Type 5, Warn 424, Quadrax Disc Brake kit, Prefex/HL spring, Warn RT30 wireles remote, Amsteel Blue, Floor Boards, ODI Grips, HID 6K, Custom Built Stick Stoppers, Bash Plate, Skid Plate, Aluminum Toolbox. IRS conversion coming!! TRX 300FW Fourtrax 88-26 Mudbugs on ITP Type 5, Quadrax Disc Brake Kit, 450 shocks front, Big Red Rear with built in lift, ODI Grips, HID 6k, Speedo, Floorboards TRX 500ES Foreman 07 26 Mudbugs, HL/Prefex.

02-28-2011, 12:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
guest Banned Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 10,011	where u gettin this stuff from rubi? lmao

02-28-2011, 02:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
vermhot Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,669	lmao!!!!

02-28-2011, 02:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
rich450es Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: tooele, utah Posts: 15,256	ther once was a man from nantuckit......... __________________ 2000 foreman 450 es-s the f**king pig SOLD! honda forum.com stickers for sale .....pm me for details !

02-28-2011, 02:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
vermhot Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,669	Horse walks into a bar one day an the bartender says ,why the long face ?

02-28-2011, 03:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
jake_hag Honda Red Wing Rider Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: South Dakota Posts: 504	A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

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